Death is a wire away
by frilencer
Summary: A little girl dies because Ziva and Tony didn't defuse a bomb and old bad memories come to the surface.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Ncis. **

**_Death is a wire away._**

Death was a wire away.

Their eyes met for a moment and froze the time.

The evacuation should have been completed by the time, but they still had the feeling that someone might not have been in a safe place yet. They didn't know what to do. They could have tried to defuse the bomb, but they would have probably died. There were too many wires, they had no time to understand which wire they had to cut. The bomb would have exploded and they would have died without saving anyone. Or they could have gone away, they could have left the bomb and tried to save their lives, hoping that all the people who lived in the building were safe. But it was an hard choice to make. None of them wanted to leave, they wanted to stay, they wanted to defuse the bomb. But they just couldn't. They had to go.

Tony got up, he took Ziva's hand, who was still knelt on the floor, and he tried to lift the girl. But she didn't want to leave. She had been trained to face the danger, not to run off because she was afraid to die.

Tony murmured her name, because he wanted her to get up, but she still didn't move; she kept looking at that bomb, at those wires, at those red numbers that reminded that death was nearer and nearer.

_Ziva. _He was almost begging her, begging her to leave, begging her to come with him, begging her not to stay and die. She wanted to defuse the bomb, but she couldn't. _Ziva, please. _

She still didn't move.

_Please._

Suddenly the digit of the minutes became a zero. Suddenly she got up and turned to face Tony. Their eyes met again. And they began to run.

* * *

And then the bomb exploded. They fell down on the floor, trying to save themselves from the explosion. A bright light hid the building and everything became hot. Tony pulled Ziva into his arms, lowered her head and covered it with his hand. She couldn't move. Tony held her tightly, trying to protect her from anything that could hurt her. But then she left her warm shelter, meeting his eyes once again, freezing inside observing the deep worry in his irises.

_You okay? _She nodded and she tried to focus on what was happening around them. People were screaming and crying, looking at the debris of the building that was their home. Children were hugging their teddy bears tightly, holding on to the only thing that they still had – _love._

Ziva saw the man that had organized the evacuation and she headed towards him.

_We weren't able to defuse the bomb. _It wasn't easy to admit that they didn't succeed, but there was no time for pride.

The man nodded and then he turned away, looking at nothing in particular.

_Everybody is okay?_

_We don't know yet._

He paused for a moment.

_We don't know the exact number of the people that were in the building…_

_So we have to wait. Someone could report one's missing._

_Yeah._

Ziva nodded, hoping that anybody wouldn't have anything to report.

When the man started to talk to a woman, Ziva reached Tony who had just phoned Gibbs.

_What did he say?_

_He wants us to stay here._

They looked at each other but soon Ziva turned, unable to stare back at him.

They stood there without saying anything for a never-ending minute. Then Tony finally spoke.

_We could do nothing._

He was looking at her and she felt his eyes on her skin, on her face, around her soul. He was stripping her of all the wall around her, digging into her softly, caressing her skin with his gaze. But she was okay with that, it didn't bother her, _he _didn't bother her. She felt protected, not defenseless.

She breathed in and she felt calm, relaxed, but soon she was tensed up again. She wanted to know t hat everyone was okay. She _needed _to know that everyone was okay. She left him, heading towards the people that were still standing at the side of the road. He sighed and he followed her.

Suddenly a young woman caught Ziva by the arm and she gasped out something that Ziva wasn't able to understand.

_Calm down, calm down, _she said softly, placing her hands on the girl's shoulders. _What's up?_

She forced herself to smile, trying to comfort the scared girl and in the meanwhile wondering what had happened.

_My little sister… Have you seen her?_

Ziva exchanged a look with Tony.

_Isn't she here? _Ziva asked, worried.

_She… she was at home, alone… she was ill, so she stayed at home, and… and probably she was sleeping… have you seen her?_

_How.. how is she like?_

The girl worriedly opened her wallet, she took a photo and she showed it to them. In the photo there was a teenage girl with a huge smile on her face, bright green eyes and long blonde hair.

Tony took the photo from the girl's trembling hand and rushed towards the man who Ziva had spoken to before. They talked for a few moments, then Tony turned to look at Ziva and their eyes met one more time. Looking into his eyes, she realized what he was trying to tell her and she fell into her past.

* * *

_She is as bright as her green dress, and everything seems bright around her. She's a light and lights everything. But death is a wire away, and soon the world explodes, and she is lying on the ground. She can't see anything, she can't feel anything. But she can hear a voice, a voice that's screaming, yelling her name, a voice that scratches the pale skin of her face._

_And then she dies. And the voice shouts her name once again._

_Tali! Tali!

* * *

_

The ring of the door bell swept her memories. She found herself on her couch, hugging a cushion, with her bare feet under her backside. She took a few moments to realize where she was and what had happened that day.

The door bell rang again but she didn't get up. It was Tony, she was sure – Tony was the only person who could come to her house in the middle of the night. And she didn't want to talk to Tony. Actually, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to be alone, to fall asleep and to forget everything.

_Ziva, please, open the door._

She sighed.

He sighed.

_Please._

She got up, headed towards the door and stood there for a few moments. Then she finally opened the door.

Tony, who had leant on the door, almost fell.

_Hey._

_Hey. _She smiled softly – but it wasn't a real smile.

Tony opened his mouth but he didn't tell anything. He lowered his head for a moment, closed his mouth and then he returned to look at Ziva.

_I… I was worried._

Ziva leant on the door frame.

_Why?_

Tony seemed a little embarrassed.

_You… you looked tense today._

_I'm fine._

Tony looked at her intensely, he smiled and told her: _I don't believe you._

Ziva sighed, starting to turn away.

_Tony…_

_No, Ziva, listen… _

He caught her by the arm and forced her to face him.

_We could do nothing. You know that._

She closed her eyes, biting her lips.

_That girl died because of us._

_No._

He looked at her sternly.

_She died because no one was there to save her._

_We could have…_

_No, _he repeated. _There were too many wires… if we had tried to defuse the bomb, we would be dead right now, and that girl with us._

She sighed and lowered her head.

_I'm sure it's not enough for her sister. We could have saved that girl, and her sister could still have her._

Suddenly Tony realized what was bothering her, what was _really_ bothering her.

_Zi…_

_No, Tony, stop._

She smiled.

_I'm fine, really._

He smiled sadly.

_You're not fine. And you know that. But you don't want to be helped, and... _he hesitated, _I want to help you, Ziva. I want you to trust me, I want you to talk to me… I feel helpless._

Ziva moistened her lips and gazed deep into his eyes.

_You already know what's wrong._

_So tell me what I can do for you!_

_Nothing, Tony. You've already done enough._

_I feel helpless, _he repeated.

She shook her head.

_No, Tony. You're not. You… you don't even know how much I love the fact that you came here tonight, that you tried to comfort me… You… you've already done a lot, much more than I could ever ask you to do for me. And I know that you want to talk about… about that girl, about her sister, about me, and… and my sister, but… _

She stopped for a moment and then she smiled softly.

_I knew that we could do nothing but it didn't help. You, here, tonight… it did help. It really did._

He smiled widely and caressed her cheek with his thumb. She shivered when he touched her skin and then smiled, bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. They stood there for a few moments, or maybe a whole minute, but then Ziva took his hand and stopped him from caressing her.

_I think you should go now._ She said with a smile.

_Yeah, I should. _

They smiled at each other and looked deeply in each other's eyes.

Then Ziva laughed and invited him in.


End file.
